Welcome Justfedup!
I've got my coffee now too! I work nights so it comes in handy.
I am so glad you found us. This is a great place and there are alot of super people here. Don't ever hate yourself for staying. It is what you need to do for YOU that counts! Read the sticky posts at the top of the boards. They have a wealth of information and help a great deal. I know it is difficult to decide what to do because of the children. If you can attend a Alanon meeting it would help you so much. Take the time to heal yourself and then you will have the strength to do what is best for you and your kids.
prayers and hugs,
matters