Justfedup
I want to welcome you too, and although I don't have many answers, I echo what Smoke said, and add that protecting your children may mean moving them out of this environment.
But you don't have to decide or do anything today. Take a read around, get your balance, and take a deep breathe. You are among friends here, and it is a wonderful place to share our problems and support each other in our recovery.
Glad you came and I hope you will stick around for a while.