Tell you what, Jezabel, I'll go if you go. I'm struggling with many of the same problems you are (spouse doesn't know the extent of my problem, not wanting to be recognized, unsure of "higher power" etc.) BUT, I will tell you this, a couple years ago - before my problem even started - I went to an AA meeting with a friend in the program. Just for support and to see what it was like. I really loved it. This was a huge meeting and maybe not typical, but it was really great hearing people talk openly and honestly. That was the only place I'd ever heard that kind of talk.