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Questions about NA/AA Meetings

Old 02-08-2006, 11:31 AM
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Questions about NA/AA Meetings

Last night I logged on and noticed a message regarding an NA/AA online meeting. I would like to learn more about NA/AA. The kind moderator offered an opportunity after the meeting to ask all my questions. I could not stay long because of other commitments so I wanted to ask on a thread to hear from the moderator and other people about NA/AA and how it works. My questions are about the online and local meetings.

I am unsure of NA/AA meetings because I feel I fair better through individual counseling. I also have concerns about NA’s reliance on theistic beliefs of which I do not share. But I feel I cannot make an informed decision without knowing more. I have been trying to search the message boards for some of this information so if there is a link that would answer these questions, please share that link. I will start with these questions and as people respond, I probably will have more to ask and I appreciate your patience and participation.

1. What is the general format for meetings? What are the differences for AA & NA?
2. What is proper etiquette when participating in these meetings?
3. Is it customary for set topics and only set topics to be discussed during meetings?
4. Do all questions have to be saved until after the meeting?
5. Do you have to have a sponsor to participate and how long do you get before deciding on a sponsor?
6. If you do not hold theistic beliefs, how does one fit in with the NA/AA model of recovery?
7. Do you have knowledge of support groups that rely on a more open format for their meetings?
8. Has NA/AA helped you? If yes or no, Why?
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Old 02-08-2006, 11:44 AM
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Hi Jez! Glad you're here. You've asked some really great questions. You might want to check out the NA section here at SR. There are some threads that might have the answers for you.

Here's an NA website that has some of the basic NA info. http://www.na.org/basic.htm Hopefully that'll help a little. The main NA website is www.na.org.

NA is a spiritual, not religious program. We practice working with a "higher power". It doesn't matter if you do or don't believe in God, or some type of god. You can use something like nature, some say even a doorknob, etc. Personally, I think it should be something loving and caring.

In any NA meeting you'll find the most ecclectic group of loving, caring, accepting people you've ever met. There are many different people from all types of lifestyles. We are taught to look at the similarities, not the differences. Once we all start sharing, it's easy to find the similarities; we're never alone.

Good luck to you! Hopefully you can check out a meeting near you. It was the best thing I've ever done for myself and for those who love me.
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Old 02-08-2006, 12:11 PM
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See uf this answers some of your questions...

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/...AA_Meeting.html

I have never attended NA.
AA is vital i to my sobriety as it keeps me in balamce.
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Old 02-08-2006, 12:11 PM
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"The therapeutic value of one addict helping another is without parellel"...
There are a few readings that we do in the begining of the meeting, "Who's an addict", What is the NA program", "How it Works","The 12 Traditions" and a daily meditation reading out of the "Just for Today" book. We recognize "Clean time" with keytags/medallions. Then it's time for the chairperson to pick or ask for a topic.
We go around the circle and introduce ourselves, and state that we're an addict...share about the topic, or say "I'd just like to listen today".
I was at home in my first meeting, although I didn't know anyone...
They were all so welcoming and happy, and immediately I felt that I belonged there.
I knew that I needed to learn how to live life without drugs...and here were the people who were doing it and who could show me how.
For the first time in a long time I didn't feel like a worthless drug addict...but someone who had a little hope that I could survive and recover and become one of those smiling happy people who were laughing and having a good time at the meeting.
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Old 02-08-2006, 12:40 PM
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Not to hijack this thread, but can people who should be going to NA go to AA instead? There are very few NA meetings in my area, but plenty of AA meetings.
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Old 02-08-2006, 12:51 PM
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Originally Posted by Jezabel Starfox
1. What is the general format for meetings? What are the differences for AA & NA?
2. What is proper etiquette when participating in these meetings?
3. Is it customary for set topics and only set topics to be discussed during meetings?
4. Do all questions have to be saved until after the meeting?
5. Do you have to have a sponsor to participate and how long do you get before deciding on a sponsor?
6. If you do not hold theistic beliefs, how does one fit in with the NA/AA model of recovery?
7. Do you have knowledge of support groups that rely on a more open format for their meetings?
8. Has NA/AA helped you? If yes or no, Why?
Answering your questions:
#1. Meetings are different in all areas -- but generally the same. People come in, sit down. Someone is chair person. Some reading is done. If its a discussion meeting -- a topic is brought up and everyone get a turn to speak if they wish. If its a speakers meeting - the speaker shares through most of the meeting. If a newcomer lets people know he/she is new - the group usually has a first step meeting. Its a good thing to let them know if your new.
#1(part 2) There is not a lot of difference between AA and NA meetings. The program of NA is exactly the same as AA with the steps etc.. The only difference is the word alcohol and alcoholic are replaced with drug addiction.

#2. Just go and listen.. I think you are overthinking this whole thing.. This is not a business meeting.. Its a bunch of x drunks and/or druggies getting together to help each other..

#3. Depends on the meetings. Sometimes they are general discussion with someone bringing up a topic. Other times it may be a specific step or something. Nothing to be concerned about.. Just go ( smile )

#4. Again - depends on the way that particular meeting is run.. I been going to meetings ( and sober ) 25 years.. I don't much care about rules and if I got something to ask or say I do so.. with respect of course. They are not going to throw you out for it... if for some strange reason that would happen then its not a real AA or NA meeting.

#5. No you don't have to have a sponsor.. You don't even have to be alcoholic or say you are.. The Book states and this is read at nearly every meeting too THE ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS A DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING.... that is it.. There are no other requirement. Getting a sponsor is up to each individual but its highly suggested you do so..

#6. FACT.. AA is not Religious. There are no rules that you have to belieive in any particular God.. We encourage people to develop a belief in a higher power of some sort.. and of your own choosing.. I have met people who beleive in all kinds of faiths, all kinds of things including just plain nature.. And - of course we even have athiests..

#7. Some meetings are more structered than others.. Some are very laid back. This is true both on and off line.. There is a GREAT deal of online resources for recovery.. It may also help you to go to the aa.org website where the Big Book is readable right online..

#8.. Has it helped me?? If you knew my story and knew me now you would not beleive I am even the same person.. ( smile )... Honey - If I could give you anything in the world I would give you 15 minutes of how I feel. If you could have that you would race to the nearest meeting.. Grab a sponsor and dive into those steps like your life depended on it.. For me - my life did depend on it -- even though I did not know it at the time.. But --- sadly I cannot give you that 15 minutes. Like each of us -- you must do the work and get it for yourself..

And I would like to let you know that if you ever wish to talk - I am always available at netherland125******.com

Linda C.
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Old 02-08-2006, 12:56 PM
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I'm an addict...we have 3 NA meetings a week here. There are 2 AA meetings every day.
Yes, I'm a "child" of both programs...even though drugs caused me the most problems in my life, I could easily pick up a drink and become an alcoholic.
There are many addicts who attend AA. Most of the AA folks accept them. There are a few oldtimers and hardcore AA who will not want to hear about our problems with drugs.
Some meetings are "closed" which mean that they are for alcoholics only.
If they are open it means that anyone can attend, including interested family members, ect.
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Old 02-08-2006, 01:05 PM
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Originally Posted by illbeback
Not to hijack this thread, but can people who should be going to NA go to AA instead? There are very few NA meetings in my area, but plenty of AA meetings.
Of course... More and more -- people are dual addicted.. to me and to many its all the same.. A mood altering drug is a mood altering drug. We simply all have our drug of choice..

Same here in our area.. Few NA meetings and lots of AA meetings...

Linda C.
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Old 02-08-2006, 02:08 PM
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Thank you so much for all your responses. I have much to absorb and process. I have more questions but I need time to reflect first and much more reading to do thanks to the links and suggestions already presented.

Thank you for the hijack illbeback because your question is one I started asking after a couple of posts. I welcome anyone else to post their questions here as well as it gives me more food for thought.
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Old 02-08-2006, 02:35 PM
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The only wayt get the answers is to ask the questions, you'll be helping another newcomer to!
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Old 02-08-2006, 02:37 PM
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I'm an alcoholic but have been to both NA and AA. I have found both to be incredibly enlightening and wonderful programs. I go to more AA meetings but my sister has been equally helped by NA.

Jez, just for interest's sake, I also tried to find out about AA before I first went...but found the best way for me to make up my mind was just to go. I phoned up the helpline and asked if someone could meet me outside maybe 10 mins early...I asked them the relevant questions and just listened. It showed me enough to want to be part of it and keep going back. I am so grateful I tried it and I didn't go with my initial instinct which was, "OMG, you are not "AA" bad yet!!!!!" SO so so glad I went!
I'd suggest you just try it and take it from there, you literalyl have nothing to lose, and so much to gain.
Good luck!
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Old 02-08-2006, 03:25 PM
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Jezabel, me and AA/NA didn't go well together, especially cuz of all the theistic things you mentioned. So I found www.smartrecovery.org on a thread here providing alternatives to AA (and also NA). Don S posted that thread in the Alcoholism forum and it's a sticky one there, I believe. It gives you a list of alternatives.
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Old 02-08-2006, 04:35 PM
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Originally Posted by Cathy31
...but found the best way for me to make up my mind was just to go. I phoned up the helpline and asked if someone could meet me outside maybe 10 mins early...I asked them the relevant questions and just listened. It showed me enough to want to be part of it and keep going back.
Exactly! I wholeheartedly agree that the best way to get information is to GO! All of us were scared before going to our first meeting. The good news is that the people there are helpful, kind and supportive. Nothing, really, to be scared about except the fearful thoughts in our own heads.

I found recovery in the rooms of AA and am also a member of NA. I advocate and support both programs. My best advice is to go to both and see where you feel most comfortable.

The 12 step programs are spiritual, not religious and you'll find wide latitude to come to your own beliefs and understandings.

AA / NA saved my life and is keeping me clean, sober, serene and sane one day at a time.

Great thread, Jez. Glad to see you here and posting your questions.
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Old 02-08-2006, 04:51 PM
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I was thinking about why I was hesitant to just pick up and go to a meeting and I recognized that there are a lot of reasons. A) I am dealing with alot of other issues right now so I have a lot on my plate. B) I know it is anonymous however I still worry about being recognized. C) I am hiding my participation on this board from my spouse and going to a meeting would be more difficult to hide. D) I am seeking all my alternatives to AA/NA because of my belief system. E) My participation in last night's online session was disheartening because I asked a question only be told that questions can be asked after the meeting so I am completely confused as to how someone is suppose to behave during these meetings. This is why I need some time to reflect on the information provided. I am only posting while working so it will take me some time to read through information without completely neglecting my responsibilities. Everyone is giving me much to think about, much to research, and I really appreciate it!
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Old 02-08-2006, 06:48 PM
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Hi Jez,

I was at the meeting last night, with you, and i just wanted to say, that i felt a bit awkward about you being told to ask those questions after the meeting. A newcomer is the most important person at any meeting, and we all had theese types of questions. Those of us who have been coming around longer, keep coming back in order to carry the message of recovery to the newcomer who is seeking answers to their questions. And we only get one chance to make a first impression. Often a persons first impression's of their first meeting becomes an impression of aa/na as a whole... You need to consider this, that we are a loosely organized bunch of addicts and alcoholics - individuals all of us, at our own place in recovery, with our own issues, etc. Each one of us has different aptitude for sharing their recovery with others - Topic discussions help us keep on message, and share according to our individual experience, strangth, and hope. What we were like, what happened/changed, and what we are like now. Each meeting i go to exposes me to that many more viewpoints on recovery, and the topic - how to maintain sobriety, and live life on lifes terms... Experience gets passed along, through one addict/alcoholic sharing with another. Throughout the fellowship as a whole, there are many who share great success in the program - many years of combined experience living sober. There are literally hundreds of thousands of meetings world wide. If we are willing to work the steps, we do recover. I know members with 10, 20, 44, 67 years of sobriety... The 12 steps ARE helping people recover. We find meaning and purpose in our lives. We've found a new way to live. Do yourself a favor, pick up a copy of the big book of AA, and the NA basic text... Read them. Find someone who has worked the steps before you, who has something that you want - sobriety. Have them help you work the steps. This is sponsership. It works.

I have to go somewhere now, although i have much more to share - and some answers to your questions - I'll be back -

god keep you,

Aaron
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Old 02-08-2006, 11:19 PM
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I'm a member of SMART but I also got some out of NA. However, my "Home Group" was actually an AA meeting. However, I would state "I am an alcoholic" instead, because I know that even though I've only been drunk once, if I touch the stuff I'll be as addicted as I am to my drug of choice. I liked this meetings simply because I could relate to the people there a lot better.

I know many NA peeps who do not consider God their Higher Power. Some believe it is the NA program that is larger than themselves. Please don't let that scare you away.

Everyone is different, and although NA did not work for me does not mean it won't work for you. I know many people it has saved from a death due to drug abuse.
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Old 02-09-2006, 12:45 AM
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Originally Posted by Jezabel Starfox
I was thinking about why I was hesitant to just pick up and go to a meeting and I recognized that there are a lot of reasons. A) I am dealing with alot of other issues right now so I have a lot on my plate. B) I know it is anonymous however I still worry about being recognized. C) I am hiding my participation on this board from my spouse and going to a meeting would be more difficult to hide. D) I am seeking all my alternatives to AA/NA because of my belief system. E) My participation in last night's online session was disheartening because I asked a question only be told that questions can be asked after the meeting so I am completely confused as to how someone is suppose to behave during these meetings. This is why I need some time to reflect on the information provided. I am only posting while working so it will take me some time to read through information without completely neglecting my responsibilities. Everyone is giving me much to think about, much to research, and I really appreciate it!
I hid my addiction, in shame. I think that if you brought this topic up at a meeting, you'd find an overwhelming support. You are not alone. I think that you should feel good about your participation here!! You are seeking a solution.
It helped me to get my problems in the open, talk about it. Others have been where i'm at, and found a way through it, without using.
No matter what your beleif system, you can find recovery in aa/na... If you can accept that your way of thinking isn't enough to keep you clean today, youre 90 percent there... The other 10 percent, for me, was realizing that the universe doesnot revolve around me!
An athiest friend of mine with about 18 years clean, has a non-beleif in a higherpower that he doesnt understand as a higher power... LOL...It works for him...
He found in the rooms of aa, a power greater then alcoholism - a group of drunks - who are staying sober - by following good orderly direction , working the 12 steps...
It works! Really!

god keep you,

Aaron
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Old 02-09-2006, 03:44 AM
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That's kinda strange that they told ya to ask questions after the meeting...anyway, I'll look up the link to Don S' post about alternatives to AA for you.

Here's the link to that thread: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...nfo-76726.html

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Old 02-09-2006, 06:31 AM
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Tell you what, Jezabel, I'll go if you go. I'm struggling with many of the same problems you are (spouse doesn't know the extent of my problem, not wanting to be recognized, unsure of "higher power" etc.) BUT, I will tell you this, a couple years ago - before my problem even started - I went to an AA meeting with a friend in the program. Just for support and to see what it was like. I really loved it. This was a huge meeting and maybe not typical, but it was really great hearing people talk openly and honestly. That was the only place I'd ever heard that kind of talk.
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Old 02-09-2006, 03:25 PM
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Thank you for all your links and comments. I started combing through them today. Very useful stuff and so much I think it will take me the weekend to process it all.

Aaron, thank you for helping me feel less crazy about the incident the other night. Just knowing I wasn't the only one feeling awkward means alot. And the Group Of Drunks is a great point of reference. Thanks!

BSP. thanks for the smart recovery link . I started reading some of there stuff and it sounds like it might benefit my family for it covers more addictive behaviors than just alcohol and drugs.

illbeback, I won't agree to go just yet, however, I will call NA to find out when and where they meet. It's probably a message in disquise that the Alano Club is just around the corner from where I work. However, the more I read, the more comfortable I am feeling about checking out all the groups to find the right fit for me. Thank goodness there is no one way to deal with all of this stuff.
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