Kruggel2004

Hi everyone..I am very new to this and trying to figure out what to do with my life. I am a 28 year old social worker who can't fix her own problems. I have been married for only a year and a half. Before getting married, my husband had a problem with alcohol. After getting married I put my foot down about the drinking. Now he doesn't drink as much but is more sneaky about it. All he wants to do is spend time with his friends and drink or something that involves alcohol..He doesn't think he has a problem..Our marriage is falling apart because when he doesn't drink than he is angry and has an uprising of emotions that he has never dealt with. Needless to say that is why he drinks, to self-medicate. I started going into counseling myself because his temper started getting out of control, of course he doesn't remember it, or only the part where I'm to blame. My counselor has been working with me on me becoming stronger..I don't feel strong. My husband and I started marriage counseling with the same counselor. My husband arrived at the second meeting smelling of beer on his breath. He had a horrible and negative attitude for the whole session and I just sat their and cried..That seems all I do anymore..I know I can' t change him or make him realize that he really does have a problem..I know my options are to stay or to leave..I am not strong enough to leave...I'm not sure how this forum can help me but I'm trying anything for support. I recently joined Al-Anon at my therapists request and my husband told the therapist and I that it was not acceptable..I feel like everything I do is not good enough..My husband keeps telling me I need to try harder to save this marriage..I honestly can't try any harder..I feel so lost and empty within myself....