This is the way it often goes. We fumble and fumble, until we finally reconcile ourselves to what we have to do. Instead of hoping for the impossible, we take control and take steps to recover. In my case, I wanted to get sober, well actually I just wanted to learn to control my drinking, but I didn't want to actually do anything to get sober. Then one day, I just stopped drinking and got serious. And you kind of have to wonder why it took so long to get to that point. But it happens. Alcoholism is a strange world of it's own.