It is really different with everyone so I am reluctant to tell you. I didn't have so much guilt as much as psychedelic off the charts pain. This pain lasted about 3 years for me and then in the first week of January 1991, the pain stopped. I was still a depressive and still a mess but the pain was gone.
As I said, I'm reluctant to share this as we two are different. And you describe guilt while mine was grief.
And really LMAH, you may well be saving his life by staying away. It is the absolute best thing for both of you. Sadly this type of love is not something that hallmark nor Rom Coms talk about but it really is transformational.
Please please keep taking care of yourself. I don't know if or when the guilt will recede but as far as I know you are doing the right thing.