Trying to move on
When do you ever feel ok with yourself about moving forward? Most of the time I feel so much healthier than I did with him. But occasionally (like today), I still feel like an awful spouse for not sticking with him in the hard times. Intellectually I know I wasn’t truly helping anything, but I can’t even imagine the pain one would feel when having your life partner bow out on you. Does that eventually get better? When?
(As an update, we have only spoken once since our therapy session in January. He didn’t show up for the one in February because he relapsed and was in treatment, but he managed to tell the therapist not to expect him but not me. The only exchange we have had since then was initiated by me a couple months later and about taxes and he responded that he’s working on his own therapy for now. No apologies, although I’m glad he’s working on himself. Meanwhile I’ve more than tripled my dive count and traveled the world and surpassed expectations at my job. But I still can’t help but miss him.)