I think it's a personality thing, to be honest. I think it's who he is.
You said he had been sober for 30+ years, but how do you know? It sounds to me like he has never been sober, and honestly, I would take this as a reality check, and cut my losses.
You don't live together, and that's a good thing.
Sorry to be blunt, I am possibly a little too Australian this afternoon, but it is said with love.
You sound like a lovely person, and you don't deserve the half truths this person is telling you.