Hi Zewerty, I'm so glad you found us and also sorry you are here.
Alcohol tends to take over the entire family. The alcoholics do everything they can to drink and the codependents do everything they can to stop the drinking. We friends/family of the addicts become just as crazy as they are in our attempts to control what we can't. It sucks beyond sucks.
Many of us have found Melody Beatie's book Codependent No More to be helpful.
Courage to you and let us know how you get on.