trailmix

I'm just concerned that the crisis will involve you.

I get what you are saying though. The most important thing, getting him away from your house, has been achieved. That was the first and biggest step.

Unfortunately, his abuse of you continues on some level. The fact that he is in your home most days is really detrimental to you. It's great for him because it keeps you walking on eggshells while he's around and that feeds his need to punish you (maybe punish the world, who knows).

All of the things you describe of his childhood could have led him down this path. However, lots of people that grow up in dysfunctional or alcoholic households don't end up being alcoholics. I'm one of them, as are my siblings (not alcoholics that is). There was alcohol around lots of times. Family gatherings (of my Father's family) always involved drinking. Yet my Grandmother wasn't an alcoholic and really quite strict. So I don't know that you can ever predict (as a layperson especially), unless it's blatantly obvious, how kids will turn out, in terms of alcohol.

Does he have issues, no question, absolutely. Trying to figure out what those are really would be just a guessing game.

You just have the one infant child together correct? How much visitation does he really need? How long does he stay when he visits?

As for his pets, I would offer for him to take them or tell him you will find them new homes. You don't have to carry his burdens (not saying pets are a burden in general just to clarify).