Originally Posted by
Behappy1 
Not what you want to hear, but he's a boyfriend. Not a husband, no kids. The only thing tying you to this mess is a house. My advice is figure that out and get out while you can. This is coming from someone on BOTH sides of the fence.
THIS!
I joined two al anon meetings today via zoom - I thought there were only meetings for my area but there was a setting for any electronic meeting. It really helped - I would advise you to give it a try. I'm grieving someone who is still alive - I need a place where people understand - and they do. It helps to know you aren't alone.