Good morning! We have similar stories, though my husband doesn’t have the gambling addiction. Walking away can be an extremely difficult decision, especially when you can see the good person within, and there is not abuse. I chose to stay and there were a few people who suggested I leave. I never felt like that was the answer for me - and I had conversations with my higher power about that -Please help me to know if that is what you have in mind for me, if that is the right thing to do. And please make it really clear! My husband nearly died and in the end chose to go to detox and rehab. (This was not the first time, but it’s a bit of a story).
You didn’t mention if there are things that you are doing for yourself. Do you go to Al-Anon meetings? Do you have a sponsor? In living with alcoholism we are really affected too. We develop coping mechanisms that may or may not be good for us or for helping the alcoholic. Whether you choose to stay or not, most important is getting support for yourself. This is the one thing that you can do that will be helpful for you and may possibly be helpful to your husband as well, though that’s not guaranteed.
I’d be happy to chat with you more if you’d like. I’m new on here (but not new to Al-Anon), and don’t know how people can reach out to each other directly. Reluctant to put my contact info on here.
Tempe
PS In my opinion, the gambling is an issue, but the primary addiction of alcoholism needs to be addressed first. If he can’t stay sober, he won’t be able to work on the gambling addiction. Also, an addiction is a way of medicating oneself, so if one has an addictive personality, it’s not surprising that there’s more than one way of trying to cope with life.