I received the phonecall last night. I am scared of what he will do to make our lives harder. It's going to sound so immature but why can't he just think "I am sick, that was wrong, they deserve peace she is doing what I cant do because of my addiction. She is raising our kids, she doesn't deserve for me to make it harder " I know he is incapable of thinking logically, but they are just kids, I'm so close to having another one. And I'm scared. I'm scared of not making it through the 4th c section and what would happen to my children if I don't. It's not fair that I know he will find ways to make things harder for me now.