It's funny that you say that about slapping him lol - as I was replying it did cross my mind (that a slap across the face would be appropriate) - but I decided not to post that.
Anyway, I totally get what you are saying and also, dating can pretty much suck.
I don't know that I would give up after him though, you never know when you might meet someone you really like.
I want to keep fighting.
I see nothing wrong with wanting to keep fighting. The thing is you need to be crystal clear about what you are fighting FOR.
I'm sure someone has said in this thread (maybe even me) You didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c's). There is a reason why there are 3 c's - because it is true.
You can't make him want or need you enough, you can't love him enough, you can't cajole or argue or be convinced enough of what's good for him - to get him to quit drinking.
In fact (and I don't mean this harshly) what you are saying to him is you are not good enough, for me, the way you are. If you change what you are, I will accept you. I just want to control what you do for your own good.
Now he's asking the same thing of you and isn't that insulting!? But what you are asking of him is also insulting (to him). Where is the respect for him and his choices? Why do you believe that you know better than him what he should or shouldn't be doing.
Now I'm not saying you should throw in the towel, only you can make that decision. But you may have to accept him just the way he is, alcohol and all. We can't change people (and really should we try?), he is who he is.
And I have to find someway to let go of that dream
What exactly do you see? What is the dream (because what you are experiencing now doesn't seem very dreamy!).