Eventually my boundary became: I will not discuss his addiction with him. I will steer him to qualified help and excuse myself from the conversation.
I would not discuss our relationship until/unless he had a period of at least 6 months of continuous sobriety and a sea change in attitude.
Because the talking in RIDICULOUS circles drove me bat-poop crazy. Up. Down. Back. Forth. UGH!!!!
When you describe his words I just hear active addiction defending itself by any means necessary. I would urge you to step away from this - he is hurling pain your direction (it distracts from his mess, so it feeds his addiction). It is not healthy for anyone.
I am sorry for your pain. You are strong. You can move beyond this. Staying put doesn’t help him and actively hurts you.