Hi kell. When he said:
“I’m stressed out of my mind. I never said your a punching bag. I just don’t know where to navigate my brain. I understand. I won’t bother you again. Sorry for everything”.
He is telling you the truth.
So the question is, do you want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't know where to navigate their brain?
That is really what it comes down to. He is an alcoholic. Yes, he is making attempts at sobriety, but that's not working right now. It may, it may not.
And that's "just" sobriety, which is hard enough. There is then recovery, examining your life and how you got where you are. Making amends, living life on life's terms. Never, ever, using drugs again.
It's a long haul and he won't do it unless he is really committed to it. He will do it when is he ready, not before.
If you do continue with him, you can be his confidant, his caregiver, his pseudo-therapist, but his first allegiance is to his drug.
You don't need to be afraid. He was drinking long before you arrived, he still is and will be if you decide to end this. If you don't, just prepare for more of the same.
Or you can set yourself free and find some peace and contentment in your life and how about a really good, strong relationship?! He also kept this from you for a long time, so he took away your power to decide if you actually wanted to be in a relationship with an alcoholic.
Not remembering how he got home, that's not memory loss it's called a "black out".