I’m so sorry you and your children are going through such heartbreak. I don’t have children and recently went no contact with my ex partner who continues to drink. I cannot and would not speak to the experience of being a parent and trying to navigate what you’re navigating but I wanted to share some big picture perspective that I observe in my social circles. have numerous people in my friend circle who did not have the protection from an alcoholic parent that you are providing to your kids by not having an active alcoholic in your home. I’m in my 50s. The friends I have who grew up in alcoholic households all struggle with various long term trauma from it that manifests through toxic relationship patterns, low self esteem, anxiety, depression and even substance abuse. I can’t imagine the heartbreak you or your kids feel now, but I promise you keeping that boundary between them and a parent who is in active addiction is saving them from the lifelong heartbreak that occurs from growing up trying to cope with an active alcoholic in their household. Hang in there- even with the heartbreak in the now , you are doing the best thing for the long term safety of your kids and for the adults they will become.