Stuck in Limbo
Hello Everyone.
im not really sure what im looking for in posting here - maybe advice positive or negative.
I’m 29, own a house with my partner (we’ve been together for 8 years) who has an alcohol addiction - this came to light 18 months ago when I found bottles and bottles hidden in our garage - I tried to support my partner, he was hospitalised with withdrawal seizures in November 2022. We didn’t realise the severity of the addiction until we ended up in the same boat in February 2023 - bottles hidden in the wardrobe this time, we tried to seek medical help as we were scared withdrawing again would cause him to seizure but unfortunately were let down by his GP - my partner then went through DTs and almost died through a seizure that stopped him breathing. We stayed together and he got support through admitting he had a problem and through AA. He then relapsed again in the May and went to rehab, I stood by him when he came out of rehab until I’d found out that he has secretly racked up 85k of gambling debt. I walked away and he unfortunately relapsed again in August… we reconciled again and he has been sober for 5 months - he’s worked the 12 steps, but unfortunately relapsed 2 weeks ago and now I am at a loss.
He got back to sobriety the day after, realises that he’s not been putting in enough work. He has since got a second sponsor who he has been meeting weekly, has committed to re working the 12 steps and has been revising the big book. The issue everyone is telling me to walk away as I’m signing up for a life full of hurt. But how can i? Im finding it hard to make a decision to walk away for good because he isn’t abusive, he doesn’t put his recovery on me, he really is the most beautiful person inside and out but is dealing with this dreadful illness… how can I walk away when he is actively trying to do more to prevent him from relapsing?
It’s so easy for people to say walk away but I just don’t feel like I can and I don’t know if I should? I have faith our life won’t be like this forever but all I can find is negative stories