You are so right Gymbunny7, alcohol no longer gives me any pleasure or relaxation, it's as if an automaton is drinking it. And yes, if I focus only on the terrible consequences of alcohol, this only lasts as long as you feel unwell, but as soon as you feel better, you start drinking again.
That's why I have to think about how good I feel when I haven't been drinking for a while, these 15 days I already felt much better, I think that's where I should work.
Thanks again to all of you who have taken the time to respond. It means a lot to me