vz427k

Hello. I have been reading this forum for many years and it has been of great help to me at many times. I didn't decide to write because my lenguage is not English but I think I need to interact in it because all of you who write in it have so much wisdom and compassion that I feel a great admiration for you.

I'm what's called an intermittent drinker. By the early 2000s, my use of alcohol had escalated to such an extent that I went to meetings for ex-alcoholics that went very well.

For more than 20 years I never managed to stop drinking completely, the time I have been the longest has been 7 months, but during those years I drank very few days a year and little quantity. But these last two years it has escalated in such a way that last year I drank a lot of days and almost always ended up in blackout.

I've gone back to in-person meetings, I've gone to a psychologist, I read your forum every day, and I'm still drinking again.
I have a list of all the bad things it brings me and the good (there is nothing on this list anymore) and I still do it. Yesterday I hadn't drink for 16 days and I drank knowing that it doesn't bring me anything. It's crazy. I feel like I'm going to lose the battle.

Thank you for taking the time to read me.

Love to all.