Glad you are here, 12877. You found a great place for understanding & encouragement.
I did the same thing years ago. Except I went back out for 7 yrs. before my world came crashing down. That's when I found SR, & the support I received helped me to never feel alone.
As SoberLeigh said - you can have lasting sobriety. I'm proof of that, as are many of us. It's good you were scared - it will keep you vigilant. I am now convinced that even one drink will send me back to that terrible place. You can do it, M.