Relapse
Hi all new here.
Well here I go again after 5 years of sobriety I have relapsed again towards the end of September 2023.You know the common story for the real alcoholic when you think you could finally moderate after being sober for that length of time. Nope
I guess I did ok at first like the first couple months like just on weekends(yeap doesn't this sound familiar?) And only after 5 and I was able to maintain it for that duration with maybe some weekdays here and there but the whole time it was in excess when I did. Like 12 pack each time.
Then came December and decided to switch to vodka because apparently hard liquor has zero carbs haha. Well bad idea. Now I was drinking a fifth of vodka on weekend nights ughh. The funny thing is that after those 5 years of abstinence I still had a high tolerance to alcohol. Like the whole freaking 12 pack and still felt ok. I mean yes I was intoxicated but nothing crazy. Weird.
Well now I'm in little of trouble because I had a recent 6 day bender, like I was drinking during the day too. And on that 6th day towrds the end of that bender i was feeling extremely uncomfortable from the hang over and very strong craving to drink again. And I was like no I can't and I haven't. I'm now almost 2 days without a drink. Just experiencing a lot of anxiety right now. Yeah I know what happened the last time I was in this situation and it was not good. Just upset that I wound up a bender like that. Kinda scary.
Also I've been on here a lot lately and it's been really helpful and I'm thankful for that.
M