This is where No Matter What comes in.
I drank from a pretty young age until 51yo so I didn't know anything else.
What I do know is that wasn't life.
Although fun at first it became misery.
It's taken me quite a while to learn to live without alcohol.
I'm loving it.
Even the boring, sucky miserable days. Being able to get through anything sober and not falling for the lies alcohol tells us gives me a feeling drugs and alcohol could never give me.
You're doing it. Just keep doing it no matter what and you'll get there.