Two week slump
hey all. day 15 for me.
and i'm in a slump. got a funk on. feels like boredom, but not sure. it started a few days ago, can't explain it. all sorts of thoughts and feelings going on. this constant sucky weather is definitely not helping, that's definitely affecting me more than usual, but i think maybe the initial euphoria of not drinking has worn off a bit and so the AV swine is super hyperactive trying to get me to give in.
i run a small business and took all my staff out over the weekend... big meal and everything. I played the "i'm driving" card for not drinking whilst they all got hammered (at my expense, lol). i didn't feel good or bad about not drinking... just nothing... (didn't miss the hangover the next day though!)
have got blood tests tomorrow and results with Doc on thursday to see if i've done any serious damage. how stupid is this... part of me hopes there is something there because if they turn round and say I'm all clear then that's going to be a big green light to just start drinking again.
i'm beginning to wonder if the drink has been masking a deeper depression and now that the drink has gone, that's now taking over. might ask the Doc about that.
it's just so tiring. i don't want to drink gdi yet it's all that's going through my head. eugh.
anyway. today is today and I'm not going to drink.