You say fear will keep you sober, and maybe you're right about that -- but my experience and the experience of countless other alcoholics abundantly confirms that there is a type of alcoholic for whom fear is simply not enough. I obviously have no idea whether you are that type or not, but I know I am -- and that brings me to the void you are describing. For me, and countless others like me, there is no escape from that void without fully committing to the recovery program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Again, that obviously may not apply to you -- but I hope you'll keep an open mind about it.