so frustrated
okay so i threw away my weed only to fish it out of the trash and use it the next day. I threw it away again this time in in a bag with all sorts of gross stuff. I hadn't been to meeting in 4 days because I'll tell myself I'm don't feel good and am to tired and I'll go tomorrow. when I feel bad I want to isolate. I feel so awful today after using so tired. I realized today I don't even like it, it makes me feel awful. I really felt I had it this time. I was feeling irritable all day yesterday and I was really resentful at having to work at a job I hate. I didn't tell anyone how I was feeling. sometimes I don't know how to talk about how I'm feeling or were to start. I don't want to live like this and I really know It's not fun anymore. going to a meeting tonight tp say I screwed again. I did a fourth and fifth step and I've done most of my admends but it didn't work.
David