This sounds super weird, but in yoga, the last pose, Savasna, Corpse Pose, is essentially practicing death before rebirth. We often forget to talk about how before you are reborn, before you evolve, you die. The dying is often painful. Ease during the process often takes practice!
Caterpillars become goo first BEFORE they become a butterfly. The Phoenix lights herself on fire (voluntarily!) and burns to ash before she rises again from the ashes. Yes, this part is hard, and the only way out is through. If it helps, maybe look for the ease where you can find it. Follow the feeling of gentleness wherever it can be found (a walk, a favorite food, a good movie with kids, a deep breath, etc).
I had to remind myself a LOT that I was not being killed, I was being reborn. I did want to be reborn stronger and happier than ever, so thinking about what was waiting on the other side helped me get through this part.