I think everyone here has posted something because they didn't know how to handle XYZ. That's where community comes in, Peke. Not to embarrass you but to give other perspectives. We've all been there and sobriety (long term) is the biggest part of the solution.
The 11th Promise from AA's book, "Alcoholics Anonymous," 4th edition pages 83-85:
“We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.”