I'm gonna jump on the quit drinking and it gets better wagon too.
I'm still way out in left field socially myself. There are a ton of situations I struggle with.
Since I've gotten sober I still struggle socially but I've accepted that's who I am. A human being that is imperfect.
Imagine that.
I still expect perfection from myself even after accepting my imperfections. But being sober gives me the clarity to draw the line between doing my best and driving myself insane striving for the impossible.
Stop entertaining your AV (You stated the topic of the OP is why you drink).
That's pure AV bs. Your addiction is using your imperfections against you and so far it's winning. It has you thinking you need to drink because you are not perfect. Which will lead to more bad decisions which will lead to more AV and more drinking etc.
Embrace your imperfections. Be known as the one who apologizes alot. Be known as the awkward one. Be the most popular person in the whole world. Whatever it is embrace it. It is you. You are human. We don't want you to be perfect.
If anyone doesn't like it well tough for them.
You've got a ton of things going for you. Don't let the AV keep telling you otherwise.