About a decade ago. My sister would get off work, go on the balcony and start her nightly beer drinking. She would call to chat. It wouldn't take long before I could hear that she was drunk. Over enunciating her words and repeating herself. And I just wanted off the phone then.
I spoke to my psychiatrist about it. Saying I didn't know if I could talk with her when she was drunk. He told me immediately that he would never encourage me to do so. That validation has and continues to be important to me.
Now it is my daughter whom I have often been estranged from. I am changing the dynamics. I guess we are both upset with each other. The difference is that I am willing to apologize when needed. She is not.
She messaged me a passive aggressive bit. and then talked about an event she was proud of. She is used to me being her biggest cheerleader. I knew that she was on her veranda drinking. I told her that I wasn't chatty because I had been sick to my stomach for the last couple of days. I know she thought I was lying and just dodging her. I wasn't. I was sick.
And she also owes me an apology for blowing up at me the time before.
I haven't felt like contacting her.
I don't have a problem with casual social drinking. I have a small bottle of wine that I drink hanging out with Scott watching music videos about once a month. about 3 glasses.