Live

I choose not to sever relationships where the other drinks too much. I did want that and did it for a long time but that alienates me from some of the people I love most. But I do not live near any of the family where it involves me, unless they phone drinking and I can always end those calls if/when I choose to. We are talking about 3 or more family members and a couple of my best friends. None are causing chaos in my life. Been there, done that & will never go thro that again. So, no, I would not encourage anyone to stay in a destructive relationship.

I got my soak in a very warm bath today. Felt lovely. That is something to do more often! I want to get scented bath products and relax and read in the tub.

Scott went back to the dentist, got his stitches removed and a stronger antibiotic for the infected one. I had made myself hamburger helper yesterday. Today he discovered he could eat the over cooked noodles and wound up eating all the leftovers.(couldn't chew the hamb tho) So I had to scavenge the frig! lol. Trying to figure out what to make that he can eat tomorrow. He says he has more of an appetite. Hope that continues!

L can do mechanical work, so he figured out what was wrong with his washer and has ordered the parts. Still doesn't have hot water. I offered him to use our shower. He called because he was proud of his work and the bargains he found. I don't bring up alcohol with him but he does. Told me how he wouldn't be drinking for the next 3-4 days because he had to get certain work done around his home.
Scott dropped meals off for him again. He scarfs those down.

Daughter is ecstatic that a nice hotel chain wants to buy some of her photos to use for their local one. She does photography as a hobby and side business.

I need to email my "dating diva". Her divorce first goes to court next week.

Pretty much a normal life. My life & on life's terms.

Dating/marrying a volatile alcoholic nearly did me in. I was a total wreck. In the present, the sense of gratitude is always near at hand. We all deserve to live freely.

Live

My daughter gave me an instantpot for mother's day. I found it intimidating at first. But I am enjoying experimenting with it now.
Yesterday I made chicken & dumplings, homemade mashed potatoes and gravy. I expected it to turn out similar to using the crockpot but it did not. It did make a fantastic gravy! And I love the new dumplings recipe.
I think Scott called me an "old timer" for cooking from scratch!! lol. He would do instant potatoes. He is not fun to cook for. L is!
So I called him up to ask if he had milk as mine had expired and to exchange for a plate of my meal. I couldn't get him to leave his house and come up here. I told him that it was pretty screwy that he would take the neighbor to the liquor store on demand but couldn't go a very short distance to get a meal to enjoy for himself. He agreed and will be thinking about that now. In any case, Scott took him a meal and picked up the milk.
L's kitchen isn't functional and I do really like feeding him as he is so appreciative and genuine in his enjoyment of it. I love that! Reminds me of my son.
And L is becoming reluctant to take other neighbor to get alcohol. Neighbor's attempts to charm and con L are hilarious. Not funny is the way he is conning a codependent woman in a long distance relationship. Ladies take heed! He will overwhelm them with flattery and fake friendship & love..just to get $ for booze. It is pathetic.A good reminder to not listen to what they say and only believe in what they do. And as for that, much of what he does is hidden and deceitful. I only saw the tip of the iceberg. I don't want to see more.
Anywho, it was a large package of chicken and today I will make my chicken and rice casserole that is very popular. That is what I needed the milk for. L loves this dish. Maybe he will come up to eat it? or not? I will still share. And I will ask him to put a couple things on his grocery list to give to me.
The rice in this dish is soft so Scott should be able to eat it easily. He is not in dental pain anymore but must wait for his mouth to heal.

Seren

I'm glad your bf was able to get his stitches out, and I hope the antibiotics will work well for him. Congratulations to your daughter! That's excellent news! I hope travelers will see her work and inquire about purchasing her photos.

I hope you and bf have a great weekend. Hopefully no neighborhood drama will happen!

Live

Thank you, Seren!

Scott can hardly wait until he can eat meat again. He bought a frozen burrito to scrape out the insides. LOL!

I made the chicken & rice casserole. Always a favorite, takes 10 minutes or less to prepare, one dirty baking dish. The rice is soft so he was able to eat some. He is afraid to swallow the grains of rice whole. Thinks it will mess up his digestive system. I disagree, but whatever. It is his tummy.

I have had a pleasant day. I love dreaming up menu plans, so have been doing that and working on my grocery list. Trying to dig in the chest freezer and use things stored and unseen for awhile.

I was so very happy that all L had to do was push the reset button on the water heater (but he had to tear out a wall to get to it). We had been talking thermostats and elements. I know about the reset button but it did not come to mind to mention it.
Because it was seeming that everything was breaking down at once.
He is still talking about the groceries he left out. That the cats ate most of it. I stay mum as he is chewing himself out for it. & he doesn't think anyone should have rescued them. We both agreed we would not want someone in the house when we were sleeping (in his case..passed out). Which he acknowledges was his dumb decision.

I like sharing food. Have sent coolers-full out before for Scott to take to people who were really struggling. My budget is less now but I still like to share. So, I took yesterday's leftovers and then a plate of today's meal to L. I went inside and things were definitely less pungent.

I also like freezing serving size packages of meals for when I don't want to cook. & the chicken & rice freezes well.

I swear when I logged in and saw that there were several posts in this forum..my first thought was "what? is it Friday?" Because in my experience weekends often did not go well. And that is sugar coating it! So, I am content to spend a peaceful evening either reading or watching a movie. I plan to go to bed early with a peaceful heart.

Live

so easy & 4 generation family favorite: butter/oil/spray 9x13 baking dish. Toss in 1 1/2 c rice, 1 can cream of chicken, 1 can cream of celery, 1 soup can of milk. Stir together well.place chicken pieces on top. I used to use breasts but now use breast tenderloins..it doesn't matter which piece of chicken you like & choose. Sprinkle 1 dried onion soup over the top. Cover & seal with foil. Bake at 350 for 2 hours. no peeking. and that's it. takes less than 10 minutes prep and only the one dirty dish. inexpensive, as well.

I took a long nap today. Finished my book. Read a short story. & am starting a new book by an author I like. I get my money's worth from kindle unlimited. I will be up late reading due to the nap but I have been tired for a couple of days now, so I made the trade off knowing in advance.

I didn't need to cook today.

Neighbor unblocked me to berate me for not keeping his secrets. a/k/a his deceitfulness. I asked him to return a book. I would just replace it but I have had it and studied for decades and it has all my notes in the margins, highlighting & etc. Then as he tried to shame me again, I blocked him. That is extremely unusual for me. blocking people. But I quit saturday drunks long, long ago and am not about to restart now.
The book is "People of the Lie"..how ironic is that?!!!

Seren

Ah, naps...I miss naps. Just keep respecting your space--mental and physical. I hope your Sunday finishes a peaceful weekend for you.

Live

Today has been humorous. Today's meal was done stovetop and were things I had not made in a very long while. I set the smoke detector off twice! lol. Nothing came out just right but was still edible except for the fried potatoes I had to throw out twice...because after the first time, I tried again and burned them to cinders again. trying to rush them. salmon patties were a bit too crisp. scott called them smoked salmon and L called them gourmet blackened salmon. lol. the guys did not want me to feel badly. I didn't and was making jokes about not being "home on the range".

the neighbor also messaged L. He called him a vulgar word regarding women and attacking his manhood. told him that I only wanted to use him and take advantage of him and that I would be his demise. Again, both guys joked with me about that if I was a gold digger then I really really sucked at it.

I am spending my evening reading my thriller book. Hoping to finish it at a decent hour.

I really want dessert. Brownies, in particular. I will bake some from scratch tomorrow. Done with cooking today. I do have some chocolate pudding mix, so maybe I might cave and make that. It is pretty hard to mess that up!

Seren

Is L telling you about what the neighbor said? If it were me, I would ask L to not discuss any of that with me. It serves no purpose. To quote a former Mod here: "What other people think of me is none of my business."

Live

The neighbor's nasty message to me implicated L....so I asked L about it. Now that I know..all that is finished. I no longer care what he is saying or doing. I had already blocked him.

Scott & I watched a documentary from a book I was reading & so was looking forward to but the movie was a bomb. I took a nap again. & only made some canned biscuits for us for dinner. Scott had already had some spicy noodles. So that was enough for us. Tomorrow we will put sausage gravy on the leftovers.

He has to go out of town tomorrow and then we have a date night planned.

Live

L decided to hit the gin Monday so was then also too hungover yesterday to even speak. This is his pattern and I am used to it. I am glad that I do not do that to myself!

My daughter also got herself quite drunk yesterday evening. We had been planning to talk on the phone but it kept getting delayed. By the time she was ready I wasn't available. I told her I had a date night and she did not believe me. She said I was just avoiding her and she was in a real tizz. She had an eye apmt and found out she has glaucoma. She is 40. She was very dramatic and hyperbolic about it. I understand that she is frightened. She will be sick today too. And I want to talk with her when she is sober.

I spent time with Scott then went to bed very early. Was woke sick to my stomach due to hiatal hernia & acid reflux. Remembered I had a grocery order for 9pm. Thankfully Scott had got it and put it away.
Now I am up much too early.

I didn't cook. Had a piece of KFC for dinner. Not sure if I will this evening or not. Scott & I have plans for this evening too.
Today is bill paying day for me but must wait until office hours.

I also got a message from another young woman that I am close to that she is not doing well and needs to talk. Her first divorce hearing was on the 27th. I suppose I could email her this morning. There's not much I can do this early.

My stomach is still uneasy. A nap will definitely be in order.

Live

Still have not heard from L. Don't care. I looked back at my posts and he has lost 11 days in a month's time to drinking & hungover. If I calculated 8 hrs sleep a day and subtracted that, I think the results would be chilling.

I was so angry at my daughter. I know she gets bad hangovers and this was one very spectacular drunk. I told Scott that I hoped she felt like roadkill. I messaged her that I was angry which risks her blocking me as she has done before. Let the chips fall where they may. I tried to call and she did not answer. I did not expect her to. I told her to call me when she was sober. I don't know if she drinks as an alcoholic. We live far apart.

I got some extra sleep and read a thriller. Treated myself to a milkshake. I thought my phone was charging but it wasn't plugged in at the outlet. roll eyes. So, today will have to call to pay bills and etc. Just glad I am able to do so.

Live

L picked up a pizza for me, paid for it and delivered it to me. We talked about him getting his washer fixed, he is his own handyman...so he has got it running again today. had to wait a minute for the parts to come in.

Anne used to say that very often the difference between a bad day and a good day is 24 hours. I have found that to be true so very many times.

Letting things settle in my mind...I don't think it is odd that 2 friends..L & I..when we both receive a nasty message from the same person on the same evening..would not mention it or talk about it. Seems obvious the dude is having problems. and they are none of my concern.

Read another book, Got over being mad at daughter. But I did have to tell her that I was angry with her. Anyway, shared a funny meme with her today exactly as I always would do.

It is raining and I could fall asleep instantly. Will have to find something to watch and then read. I began my next book yesterday. I always find the next one as soon as I finish one.

Live

So L drinks and is sick the next day.

I need to manage ME better. Because in another way, I am guilty of what he does too. I don't make it a priority to take my stomach meds, and do not eat responsibly in light of the stomach problem. then I suffer absolutely miserable, disturbed nights of broken sleep. And, for my mental illness I am supposed to maintain good sleep habits. Yet, I love staying up late reading and snacking.

My greed for the pizza yesterday, skipping the meds, staying up until the wee hours to read, & snacking on more pizza (masochistic!) so late. My throat feels like I have been swallowing swords of fire...after being very sick during the time I was supposed to be sleeping.Without the proper valve between my stomach and esophagus..laying down allows things to come right back up in my sleep. dark colas are a no no, but with pizza I thought it a must. not so nice when it streams up out my nose. with pizza coming up thro my mouth. uck. thank goodness I do not start choking on it. I used to.

So, I know what I need to do.

Live

& life goes on. been taking the stomach meds religiously and they work. with my other illnesses & very sedating meds,.every once in awhile I have a sleep marathon. So, I did that and L. freaked that he couldn't get hold of me that day. lol. we also laughed at the irony because he regularly goes off the radar.

neighbor returned my book. put it in a bag and hung it on the doorknob. was pleasantly surprised about that. He went off again on L. I am sure I would have been included had I not blocked him.

His mother stopped over this morning with a box of commodoties. Very grateful for that. I clean out my pantry regularly and give a lot away and this time..too much so I appreciate the foodstuffs. I gave her 1/4 of my berry medley pie I made last night. She mentioned sharing it with her son. I did not say a thing. That is fine with me. & she doesn't know what all he does. I am not going to be the one to tell her. He lives with her.
She told me about an elderly woman in the park in dire need and I gave her the number for meals on wheels. I am good at resources.

L started feeling guilty about me sending him meals, so with Scott unable to eat due to teeth..I have been eating a lot of fast food. I think L is beginning to miss the meals now tho. and I don't want to cook for just me. so, sharing with him inspires me to cook. I am no chef! I have been watching star chef Gordon Ramsey. lol. I would get fired! lol. I am a lazy cook. and my fare is simple midwestern. maybe I will learn about presentation?
I have been wanting to do a swiss steak in the instantpot.

Daughter & I have been exchanging funny memes but have not talked yet.

Seren

I hope your daughter will be OK. Glaucoma is, in my experience with my Mom, easily managed. I hope you will get to talk soon.

Have a fun, experimental cooking weekend!

Live

The swiss steak turned out well but ya have to let it set for a little while after taking it out of the instant pot. Last night was very simple..hobo dinners. & yes, L does like the food He offered to help pay for groceries yesterday. That is awesome. Scott does not eat my meals..he just picks at things and eats very little. Missing meal deliveries for nearly 2 weeks changed L's mind about how I shouldn't go to the trouble. But I like making meals and he is my taste tester. and, thankfully..he will eat just about anything and like it.

I think a nap will be in order today.

Seren

Is your bf still in pain after surgery? Has he been losing wait because he can't eat very much? I hope he'll start feeling better soon!

If you like cooking and your friend L appreciates the meals, I see no problem with that

Live

@Seren thank you for asking. His mouth isn't hurting but yesterday he was miserable with his back and his sinuses. He has had surgeries prior to that on both of those. He barely eats anything..even before his mouth surgeries. Cooking for him is a waste of time and groceries. I think today that he will eat some deviled eggs. That is one of the few things that I know that he likes. Mostly he has been making himself cheese omelettes. at first he ate a yogurt for lunch but not sure he is still even doing that. He says that a very small amount of food makes him feel stuffed full. and he would eat burgers and wings all the time if he could.
He has seen a dr about his stomach issue and they found nothing but he says he used to eat heartily like L and I do. and when things slow down he will get seen for it again.

I send my meals to L in a plastic divided tray similar to tv dinners with a plastic snap on top. He stepped on his pile of them(drunk) to return to me and broke them but ordered me new ones yesterday.

Today's menu was tuna salad sandwich with leaf of romaine, bacon ranch pasta salad topped with a sprinkle of shredded cheddar and chopped green onions and one stick of a green onion. deviled eggs...and I ran out of mayo and miracle whip! oh no! used ranch dressing instead and think it works well enough. honey mustard & paprika. & mixed grapes: black, red & green. I will make up for the lack of veg & dairy soon enough. Extra large servings today since Scott says he can't eat most of it.

L. is a good person to talk to about food and recipes. He has watched tons of cooking shows and been single for many years. So I like that we can discuss the meals I send to him. His kitchen is just not functional right now.
We talk on messenger so I can turn my speakers up and talk with him while I am in the kitchen. Today I had fun imitating Chef Gordon Ramsey and an expiditer.

and then, later in the day I like to message him his meal plan for the next day. I liked it when someone did that for me...made me look forward to it.

Live

not enough good sleep again. no energy, no mojo.
a grocery order via L. was too tired to adjust my menu.
he asked me to ride with him going to town. we wound up getting fancy coffees & donuts.
then he picked up a bottle of gin & paid for a small bottle of sangria for me. he seems to think that I should have just drunk it all today. I will save it for spaghetti night or something

anyway, I was off the hook for cooking today. got some much needed sleep and only regret that I didn't sleep longer.

Scott & I just ate some good quality frozen meals.

I won't cook tomorrow either then.

Live

Scott got his dentures and is working towards getting used to them. Still can't eat much.

L loves my cooking when someone delivers the meal to him but won't get off his lazy butt to come up here less than half a block to pick it up. & I got mad at him over it. Just like he is having nightmares about his situation but won't see an attorney. Is depressed and anxious but won't call dr to adjust his meds.
I skipped talking to him for 3 days. He didn't even know it because he was in his drunk/hungover cycle.

I made a quiche lorraine last night but only I ate 1 piece. will serve it today with stir fry squash/zucchini.