The only things you can trust are his actions, not his words, and your gut feelings. He has not shown himself to be trustworthy and you seem well aware of the projection and blaming he is heaping on you to avoid owning his addictions and resentments as base contributors to the dysfunction in the household.
The more important, and in fact critical question alyka, is how long you are going to subject yourself and your kids to this toxicity? This is the relationship model your children are growing up with, and will likely recreate in their own lives. You all deserve so much better, but as long as you continue to put up with the relapses and departures and blame and keep taking him back, he has no true incentive to change for good.
I also have a constantly relapsing spouse, and the sad truth is that alcoholism is progressive even if they stop for long periods of time. What if what he is / does now is as good as it is going to get? Are the good times worth the bad? That’s a question I wish I had asked myself many years ago—but I also had a drinking problem and until I dealt with it, I couldn’t see anything very clearly.
Wishing you peace and clarity and you should be proud of yourself for continuing to work so hard on your own recovery amidst the uncertainty and chaos which is life with a relapsing alcoholic. Doing the same thing and expecting a different result won’t work—so what can you do differently this time?