Hi wes - I'm so glad you came back to talk about what's going on.
I did that after 3 yrs. sober. I found I lost control must faster & had a much more difficult time stopping the second time. That was proof (again) for me that I couldn't touch it. I drank for quite a long time when I relapsed - it was just before I found SR. I did so much damage & created a nightmare. This doesn't need to happen to you, and I don't believe it will. We're here to listen & help. You're never alone.