Originally Posted by
Batgirl273 
He refused therapy for our issues related to the infidelity and lying from before. He felt he deserved a clean slate and that me bringing up the past was triggering. He felt I was living in the past and not moving forward, I felt he was invalidating my pain and not helping me heal from it.
This is 100% a sign he’s not really in recovery. A huge part of recovery is accepting life on life’s terms and taking accountability for yourself. Realizing you don’t get a “clean slate,” you just keep doing the best you can every chance you get, and that’s got to be enough. You learn you are who you are choosing to be every day, every moment.
You’re not really looking at a changed man. And addiction is progressive if you aren’t actively combatting it with recovery. Even if he’s more superficially doing well at the moment, most people here on this forum have experienced the gradual decline that happens when they aren’t in active recovery. When my ex started pulling away from his recovery (7 years clean and sober and a very healthy, supportive partner the whole time), it was about a year that he was someone I didn’t recognize and was regressing into addict behavior. In that time, I posted more on social media about us than I ever had before (subconsciously, did not realize until hindsight!), as if I thought I could subconsciously protect our good relationship and remind him (and myself) what it looked like and felt like at our happiest. So I do not EVER believe social media anymore. All the happiest couples I know don’t post. For what it’s worth.