The Company Line
I compare my first year in recovery to holding my breathe, and I was almost out of air. I kept hearing don't drink, go to meetings, and ask for help (the standard company line) I attended meetings everyday, was active in my homegroup, coffee-maker, chairperson, going on regular commitments the whole 9 yards, yet I STILL WANTED TO DRINK. But for the grace of God I shared this at a meeting. ONLY then(and it was outside after the meeting) was I presented the solution and the program of action(STEPS) that would bring about the psychic change necessary to recover from alcoholism. Since that time I have become a student of the big book, working the steps with a sponsor, and abandoning myself completely to a higher power whom I choose to call god. The importance of passing the message on to newcomers is made abundantly clear in the bigbook. I needed to change,and stop living inside my head, all I was doing was going to meetings, riding a chair and not getting better. Putting the drink down was the tip of the iceburg, the only thing I didn't have to change about myself was my name. My suggestions these days include, ask a higher power to remove the obsession of mind and body, live in the solution not the problem, help others. Not my intention to come off as a know it all, I just wish I could have gotten the solution sooner. Going to meetings and telling war stories and moaning about my bad day just didn't cut it. I owe my life to AA, the 12 steps, and developing a faith that works 24 hours a day. If this post has been helpful to anyone. I have done god's will for me at this moment.