Because he's not working a program. True recovery promotes real honesty and a change away from the selfish and manipulative actions of the past. Sobriety on its own means very little without a change in behaviors and attitudes. Smoke and mirrors. Focus on yourself. He still has a heck of a lot of growing up to do. Trust me, she's not getting the "healthier, sober version". She's getting sucked in to the same tactics he used on you. Peace to you.