It's much better now, thanks Dee.
Usually work isn't too bad but today it was really stressful. That on top of all the issues with my wife must have overwhelmed me for a few hours. Now I'm just laying in bed and reading old posts. It's only 6pm lol.
Since I'm not getting out of bed I'll at least make 90 days tomorrow. Man, this is really difficult. I've noticed more thoughts of drinking this week than before. That's for sure. 90 days feels like nothing to me but then I see someone else say a week or a month and that seems like forever. There's a lot of self-doubt and fear creeping in right now. Stalking me. Saying that there is no way you are making this so go ahead and stop the charades. You know. You know.
So ok... it's time to not listen to any of that. 90 days or 9 days or 9 hours the objective is to close the door on today, sober. Put it to bed. Like my kids it doesn't want to listen and tries to stay up late. So try to outlast it by any means necessary. It's true that this is getting MUCH easier but it's still tricky especially because now I don't feel any of the negative effects from drinking. No hangovers, no liver or pancreas pain, no blackout regrets, no self-hatred. Ok, ok, WAY less self-hatred lol 😆
Where is this going? It shouldn't be a surprise that being sober is obviously much better so I'm gonna try to forget that question and just KEEP GOING. One annoying day at a time.
❤️