100

I should have known better that vaping would lead to smoking. I was using the nicotine gum to handle cravings and I tried to just go cold turkey it didn't work. I thew out my nicotine gum and thought I will be able to handle, I made it 24 hours,and the withdrawal were so bad I was physically shaking life alcohol withdrawal. so I ran to the store last night it a fit of craving, then I caved and smoked. I been smoking since them and hinding it by taking showers every time i smoke.
this happened because I thought I could handle a little nicotine and control it. I really believed it would be different from when I used to smoke. I hasn't smoked for 13 years. It was as if I never quit. I know this isn't helping and I can quit I just need to keep trying. I'm confident I can quit until I start to feel shaky then I cave when I can't take it anymore. I'm going to buy some nicotine inhalers not a vape and some gum. I plan to taper of over a couple weeks. I don't want to smoke and cold turkey is to hard. I had a panic attack in my sleep last night because I was trying to leave it alone. I then had to smoke two cigs just to feel normal. I was vaping an insane amount before I tired to quit probably 3 packs a day worth. if I ever drink again I know this what will happen with drinking so I know I'm never drinking again I'm done. on a side note 30 days today no smoking pot or drinking.
I wish I never did this i hate that i did. i know my drinking relapse probably led to this, because if I hadn't drank again or gotten high this never would of happened.
I'm so sick of being an addict I didn't plan any of this. im feeling very low and my self worth is shot. I can't quit on my own I need help. I couldn't quit booze on my so I need help for this. the nicotine withdrawals are worse than drinking because they come on so much faster. drinking would take a week in row this took a few hours before the cravings were insane. so much worse than cravings to drink.
David