Originally Posted by
trailmix 
I understand what you are saying, I've only ever been to one Al Anon meeting so I'm certainly no expert. It is nice to know you are not alone, but what else is there?
In that one meeting, a very nice woman came up to me and talked a bit, then the meeting was held and afterward she gave me her phone number. There was also a list of phone numbers.
You can have a sponsor in Al Anon, that can help walk you through the steps, I think that is structure, but it's also about meeting others in somewhat the same boat that you can connect with outside the meetings, maybe that is what's missing?
This forum has tons of information that you will probably find really useful. You might want to post some of your questions in a new thread? Maybe share your situation (if you want to).
I'm glad you found the forum.
Thank you, Trailmix. That's actually really helpful, and I'll spend some time looking around. The answers are probably already here.
I think you're onto something about Al-anon. I'm getting the feeling it's more about what goes on outside the meetings. I also received a phone list from every meeting I attended, and I did meet one person I connected with at the first meeting and had coffee with her afterward. Other people also rushed up to me and pointed out their numbers on the list. It's almost like the meetings are more of an opportunity to meet people than work through stuff in the room. It's not what I expected, not what I'm used to, and I'm going to have to give it time to see if it's what I need. I will say that I felt relief knowing there were other people in the same boat as me. One woman in an almost identical situation even. It relieved some of the stress and sense of being lost that I was feeling. So I'll keep going for now, see what develops. Thanks again for the insight.