Unfortunately I don’t really have any personal story to share with you. But I will tell you heartbreak is such an all-consuming thing it feels impossible you’ll overcome it or find love again—or love that doesn’t come with a dark side of abuse or a seedy underbelly of toxicity.
It’s going to sound canned and cheesy. But focus less on future loves after heartbreak and more on loving yourself. You are your most important partner and the only person who will never leave. And there’s truth to not being able to love until you can love yourself—equally to us accepting the love we think we deserve. Please just be kind and loving to yourself and worry about love as a secondary thing for a while.
You’re also still SO YOUNG. I look back on being 29 and wish I’d realized then that that age is not “older” or “middle-aged” or anything of the sort. Even if you were older, the clock only ticks as you hear it. Time is a human construct and feeling enslaved to a number attached to age will not serve you in any positive way—my dad says to love each day and stay in the present. In a lot of contexts, I agree with him.
Sending lots of love, hugs, and good vibes. Hang in there. All my hopes that your heart will heal quickly. You’ll come out stronger, I promise. ❤️