Hi Hiding, I just want to commend you on writing your feelings and holding yourself accountable . that is NOT an easy thing to do. I was just wondering if youre doing okay now that its been 4 days since posting. I have a couple of friends that are sober from alcohol and i always tell them how proud I am of them since i feel like staying sober from alcohol is extremely difficult since its literally everywhere, especially living in the south, like me, AND in a college town, where every store, including the laundromat, serves alcohol.
ive also noticed how society has normalized drinking, as if its the most normal thing in the world. you cant walk into a target or walmart without seeing a shirt geared towards mothers claiming "its Wine-O'clock" or "its 5pm SOMEWHERE" and similar sayings. so when i say im proud of you and commend you for taking such a huge step, even if its just for february, i truly mean it with my whole heart. If you ever need to talk, im always here . i hope you find some ease in your life. please keep us updated. the more you share, the more comes out, the more support you get and feel compelled to keep going.
Originally Posted by
Hiding8 
Hi. I’ve been a long-time lurker. First time poster. I’m doing my 1st ever dry February, so I’m 4 days sober. Alcohol is ruining my life, but I don’t even want to quit. I’m 52 & have had problems with alcohol for roughly 35 years! I’ve had increasing blackouts, embarasssing moments, several injuries, & my mental state is deteriorating along with my health & family life. I know I am an alcoholic & I need to quit, but I go in & out of denial constantly. My husband, 2 kids (21 & 18), and a couple friends have all expressed concern, worry, disappointment, fear, etc., yet I’ve continued to live in denial. I’ve become increasingly depressed & unhealthy & angry. My cholesterol, triglycerides, blood pressure, & weight have all increased (duh!). I’m embarrassed that I have let myself get to this current state, especially when intellectually I KNOW what the root of the problem is! It’s so frustrating to have such an intense love for something (drinking) that is killing me & also making me sick more often than not! It doesn’t even make sense! But I also know that I have these feelings & internal conflicts & feelings because I am an alcoholic. I HATE that word!!! And I hate that I feel so flawed! I feel embarrassed for having this problem. THREE people have said I won’t be fun anymore since I started dry February! I hate that I cannot drink normally & that I will be considered boring without alcohol. Thanks for reading.