Sorry to hear you drank and about your trauma.
None of that defines who you Really are.
To go through all that and still think of others shows incredible strength.
I too had, have, low self esteem.
Unknown to me drinking made it worse.
Once I got some good sober time under my belt I started thinking maybe I'm not some weak, worthless being.
Staying sober takes strength. Lots of work.
I did that. Me.
What got me to that point was something I heard here, Do Not Drink No Matter What.
Early on that was my savior. No Matter What.
Now I can dig a little deeper if necessary but the drink is out of the picture.
Makes it much easier to get past the other stuff.
You can do it AJ. You ARE WORTH IT.