I hope you will keep posting JS.
The DV person is right, because there is no "gray" area when it comes to abuse.
One thing to keep in mind. Let's just say that the intervention goes well (and I don't think there is anything to be gained from having people who are unaware or not supportive) and your AH quits drinking.
That will mean he is sober, nothing more. He has put the drinks down. This other part of him, violent, mean, that doesn't go anywhere. While he may be able to control it better when he is sober, the same frustrations (perhaps now magnified due to not being able to drink) that present themselves when he is drunk will still be there.
He will have to learn how to be a non drinker. Coping mechanisms, different ways of interreacting with you and your children, managing his anger and frustrations (as all of us do). That's a big order. That's where the commitment to sobriety - no matter what - comes in to play. That's also why it has to be his decision.
I understand your hesitancy to rush in to doing anything. But in the same vein as him slamming your daughter and yourself, it's easy to slip back in to the "normal", what is normal for you (perception).