So, yes please high tail it to the bookstore for Codependent No More (Melody Beattie), as LoveMyAHusband suggested.
You have been in this relationship for a while and he only very recently left, so it's pretty normal to be kind of panicking. Especially as he has gone silent. It will take a week or two for the FOG to clear (Fear, Obligation, Guilt), but please, for yourself, do take that time. It may not be easy, but it will be worth it.
When we live in a house with dysfunction, it starts to seem kind of normal - because heck, it is our normal!
It seems sometimes like if we could just have contact with them, it would ease the pain and worry. Well it might, for a very short while, but you can't really count on the person to hurt you to heal that hurt.
He needs help, professional help. Now, he may or may not get that help, that's up to him - you didn't Cause it, can't Control it and can't Cure it (the 3 c;s) - that's really the truth. IF he decides to get sober and get therapy or counselling, that really up to him, to do that work.
In the meantime, he's just a threat to your life and a threat to your wellbeing. I would not worry about him honestly. He's got his parents, he's not going anywhere and he has truly made a hash of your relationship. Now is the time for him to step up, not for you to smooth it over.
I don't feel I'm able to make a fully informed decision or try to start to move forward with my life until he starts talking and that he's being cruel on top of what he's already put us through.
Ok well, let's see what we do know. He is an alcoholic. He tried to strangle you (if that wasn't bad enough, and it is, his children witnessed it). He uses the silent treatment to punish you. I'm sure you could make a much longer list.
This feeling you have is codependence, you want to control this and really you can't, it's not possible. He is a grown man and he needs to be able to step up to the plate and work on himself.
For you, this is the absolute best time to start working on yourself. Take time for yourself, do things you enjoy, keep busy doing those things. Get in touch with friends and family that may have fallen by the wayside. Maybe go to Al Anon meetings and your kids would probably benefit from Alateen as well. It's good for them as well that you asked him to leave. They now know that loyalty to him is misplaced and that you don't let people treat you that way and just keep on.