Originally Posted by
vision2023 
That article is so helpful…wow! One difference with my story is that my XAP (12 days X) is that he never apologized for his drinking. I found that so frustrating and very telling…he wasn’t sorry that the night before he passed out on the couch at 6pm with a half drank beer in his hand. He woke up the next morning and said nothing. Later in the day he started again. He o ly apologized when he was not living me and was desperate to get back…or at least that’s my guess. Thank you for posting this. I have printed a copy of it!
mine would only really apologize when he did something really bad—like drive home drunk, sleep until 2, and wake up to discover I’d taken the kids out of the house. Then I’d get a one-word text: “sorry.”
he has apologized since, kind of. But only after I’ve told him I’m done.
The liquid lover part got me. There were so many nights I’d get dressed up pretty on date night like as if that would make him pick me. And he’d hit the bars after and I’d go home alone to relieve the sitter.