FBL my late ex-husband was one who could sober up for weeks or months at a time, but also someone who could never visualise a life without alcohol in it at some point. It was like he and his friends considered having a drink as their reward for spates of sobriety. (And I can understand that having made bargains with myself in the past) but he could never consider a life truly sober. It was why he would never have given up drinking and always fell off the waggon regardless of what it could - and did- cost him, his marriage, his work , his health and finally at 57, his life.
If climbing out of an addiction was easy, it wouldn't be an addiction.
We have all here, found that extra something within ourselves to not only remove active addiction from our lives, but to find a way of living that can keep the door on it firmly shut as long as we keep an eye on the door regularly to make sure!