I Drank myself to death a little while back... and I have almost 10 years Sober.
Obviously I didn't really drink myself to death, but this PROVES to me why I Can NOT Drink.
We had a full house of relatives staying for a long weekend - kids, non-parenting parents, with dogs, etc.
At some point I went into our bedroom and laid down, away from the non-stop insanity. I thought to myself - If I still drank - I would grab a fifth of liquor and direct chug at least a few full gulps. Then I thought, oh hell no, I would just chug and chug, then I imagined I would actually keep chugging until I passed out from chugging - to block it all out - this was Actively Engaged Imagination / Wishing I was Doing It - to drown it all out, and I Imagined NOT stopping my chugging the liquor until I would Actually Pass Out.
Then I realized - I WOULD Do This - and I would most likely end up puking while unconscious - and Most Likely DIE From it - BUT, It Would Drown It All Out.
THAT IS MORE PROOF THAT I CANNOT SAFELY EVER PUT ALCOHOL OR DRUGS IN ME EVER AGAIN.
And the Benefit is that by practicing my program of Sobriety, and Spiritual Maintenance - I am actually Living Happy, Joyous and FREE.
I went back out and joined in the chaos...