You can do it, Five.
Yes, we don't do ourselves any favors comparing ourselves to others- only we know how bad we really are- no matter what it looks like to others OR how others look to us.
In addition to your list of things to NOT do- add something you SHOULD do:
"Be kind to myself."
The self-hatred will fade- but treating yourself like a friend NOW will allow you to make better decisions- and giving yourself a break will decrease your desire to give up. Alcohol is poison to us- would you let your friend drink poison? I think not.
Keep going- you're doing great- it gets better and easier.