Is it possible to be a good parent/role model with alcoholism?
Over the past 8 years my son has seen be at my worst as I have lived with alcoholism and what went with that as well as the excessive drinking, being agressive, being sacked from my job, being arrested, going in and out of prison and not being there for him. Since getting out this time I have managed to stay sober which I didn't las time so I am proud to say I am now over 3 years sober. I never thought I would say that. I think and I hope taht I have turned my life around but still know that every day is a new challenge. I am on license/parole but am back working and keeping busy and meeting my Probation Oficer.
My son is 15 now and I am very worried that he is starting to go down the same path as me. I knoiw I have been abad role model for him and I know my ex blames me for the way things are with hiim now. I would give anything for him not to make the same mistakes as me and to stay out of trouble and avoid addiction.
I know he's smoked for a while - that doesn't really bother me as I smoke too and was smoking when I was his age. He has started drinking recently too according to his Mum and I am worried about this but he said to me it was just a few cans and when I pushwed him he just said not everybody is an alco like you. What could i say to that?
He was always good at school but in the last year he has started getting into trouble for minor things and says he wants to leave school next year when he is 16, He says he wants to join the Army and learn a trade - you can join British Army at 16 with parental consent and I would be delighted if he did although his mother isn't too keen on that. However he had to go to Children's Court in the New year for the first time and if he gets a record it would be much harder for him to get into the Army. He says what happened was a once off and it won't happen again and I want to believe him but I know what it's like. He is cocky enough saying he will probably only gert probation or something and obviously throws back at me that I have done much worse and why should he listen to me anyway when I've been in prison when he was growing up.
I know he has missed out on having his Dad around through my own fault and given my alcoholism and criminal record it is hard to get through to him. I am guilty that he sees what I did and have mafe him witness as normal and I have no idea how I can be a good parent to him even no when I am getting back on track and he is a bit older. I know that overall he is a good kid but am really worried about his future.